The same reason why I don't want to move out of my family's house. Than I would get rid of main sources of frustration and become independent, which is basically very good thing. But what scares me a lot is that than I would have to do things on my own, which means definitely alone. And since I get pretty sensitive to any stress (when something pushes me I am not able to handle it)and this does not happen only lately, so it will perhaps last continuously.....it simply couldn't be a good decinision.
In conclusion I just can't do it.
Many years ago I get the idea of choosing as a life profession housewifing. Withound even thinking of it, I found it a good way of spending my life-taking care of children and being with beloved men.
But I realised that what I do not want is responsibility.
And especially the part of it associeted with children. It is so easy to mess this up!
Much simplier than taking responsibility and its consequences is better to let somebody else decide. I can't explain it but I guess it is because if you only follow instruction it basically isn't your fault when it ends badly.
And men are usually more right.
Perhaps I am not the type of person for who the life is a suitable thing.
Now, I think I have basically two options:
- Do some job which I don't have to execute every day and which can make me enough money to don't care about it much
- Take arts as a full-time job